he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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