its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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