She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize