I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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