how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
