I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
