I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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