she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
