and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
