He told me they were just razor bumps!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
