gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
