i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
