this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
