there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you never un-have a 4some
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
