I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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