I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
