hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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