i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
