I CAN MOONWALK!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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