The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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