I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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