She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
