Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize