i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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