it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize