false alarm. still invincible.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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