Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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