that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
