Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize