It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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