so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
