week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
