you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
