well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
