she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
