Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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