yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize