Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
