Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
