your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
