Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
