dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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