idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
