yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's Friday. Sex?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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