Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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