Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
