May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize