My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
