went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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