Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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