Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
