yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
