He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
