So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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