Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
bring money and cleavage
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
