My friends, they love my intelligence
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
