Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
