it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
