Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
