there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
