drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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