used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think my moral compass just broke
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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