Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
