She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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