the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You made out with two different species that night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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