Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
